When having a difficult conversation, it's easy to get wrapped up in what you need. You're angry so you respond with anger. You're frustrated so you respond with frustration. It makes sense, but it's not effective. Instead of reacting, ask yourself a question: what is going on for the other party? Then, ask yourself another: what can I do or say to help? By focusing on the other person's needs, you can avoid unproductive emotions and find ways to support your employees and colleagues. While this may be the last thing you want to do in that moment, it's a much more effective way of getting your needs met.
Source: "A Simple Communication Mistake to Avoid" by Peter Bregman