1. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other.
2. Your monthly statements are handwritten, in crayon.
3. When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks suddenly don't speak English.
4. Your safety deposit box is a Dunkin' Donuts carton wrapped in tin foil.
5. All cash deposits go directly into teller's pants.
6. Toll-free customer service line is: 1-800-GET-HOSED.
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